You're holding onto grudges - It is normal to hold a grudge whilst you've been hurt. However, making a habit out of it can block your heart chakra. Carrying pain in your heart can prevent you from enjoying your life to the fullest.
Acknowledge the hurt, the pain and your emotions, don't ignore them. Reflect on how holding a grudge could possibly change your behaviour in a negative way.
Look into practicing forgiveness, but start for yourself.
Acknowledge the benefits of forgiveness for your mental wellbeing.. and that 9 times out of 10, you have nothing to do with why you've been treated badly.
Remember 'hurt people, hurt people'. Separate the idea that your forgiveness has anything to do with them and whether they 'deserve' it.
A grudge is simply fuel for the fire of hurt they've started. When you start forgiving and letting go of situations for yourself first, without needing to understand why someone's betrayed you, you will be able to move on and start enjoying every aspect of your life, attracting positivity from the world around you (law of attraction). With more practice, forgiveness and letting go will start to get easier and come natural.
Stress and anxiety over potential hurt/Pushing people away - Let's get this out of the way first.. the saying that ''no one can hurt you unless you let them'' is a saying that can be seen as uncompassionate and harsh. As humans it is natural and ok to feel hurt from time to time.
We agree that expressing this at the wrong time can possibly cause more harm in the moment, especially when said to friends and family that need empathy and support.
However, we can translate it and use this as a guide for ourselves to build strength and start reclaiming back the power of our emotions.
What we can take from this saying is that you are somewhat responsible for developing your own resilience. Realise and accept the fact you can not control the world, and that you'll inevitably experience hurtful situations, but what you can control is how you internalise them and the extent you let them affect you.
Claiming some responsibility and being accountable for your behaviour after being hurt is a hard practice and takes a lot of work. However the benefits of this practice are boundless.
It will allow you to deal with painful feelings, heal from them and let them go without impacting how you treat others around you. It will help you claim back control and build resiliency.
Just knowing that when people hurt you, you have trust that you will always be ok, is powerful.
It will aid in limiting that anxiety when interacting with others and not needing to push everyone around you away in fear of potential hurt.
As a result, it will allow you to open your heart to the endless great and enriching experiences you could encounter.